The hard places

I’ve tried writing this blog entry a few times over the past 24 hours or so, but it never seems to come out as well as it did in the email I sent to a few people last night, so I’m just going to copy what I wrote there.

Today I was given a reminder that these children, despite their great affection for others and their enthusiasm for learning, have not all had an easy life.  I was giving a recorder lesson after school to one of the teachers, and one of the special needs students followed me into the classroom and was hanging out during the lesson. 

This student is probably about 10 years old.  He is hearing, but non-verbal, sometimes making sounds, but never words.  He alternates between giving me a huge grin while running up to grab me in the most violent of hugs, and zoning out into another world entirely.  He has a tendency to eat anything and everything, and in the middle of my lesson with the one teacher, he decided to eat an entire piece of chalk, and proceeded to choke on it.  We got him outside because he looked like he was going to throw up, but he ended up coughing for a minute, then he was fine. 

The teacher explained to me that this particular student came from an area in Kenya that was pretty hard-hit by the post-election violence in 2007-2008, and a lot of his behaviors are probably a result of that.  He didn’t get enough to eat during the violence, so now he eats everything.  He most likely has PTSD, and she said sometimes he will scream and have fits like he’s seeing something that no one else can, probably flashbacks to the violence.  It is hard knowing that this sweet, loving boy is suffering so much through no fault of his own.

There is another girl here with lots of anxiety issues who often chews on her fingers, and the teacher told me that she was in the area affected by the post-election violence, too.  She had been left in the forest by her mother, because her mother believed it was safer for her there.

It’s easy for me to take special needs in stride, being a teacher.  A student can’t hear?  She can still follow directions, feel the vibrations of the music, and participate.  A student can’t use his right hand?  He can still play the notes from G on up on the recorder.  But, having gotten to know how wonderful and loving these children are, it’s hard to take in stride what some of them have been through to get them here.  No child should have to worry about being left alone in a forest.  No child should be tormented by memories of events that he shouldn't have even had to witness at all.

Living in a broken world hurts.