If you leave your flip-flops on for too long, your feet are going to get pretty cold. But if you put your boots on too early in the season, your feet will probably get pretty sweaty and smelly. And when the seasons are in the process of changing, it's sometimes hard to know what to wear on a particular day. It might be 85 degrees today, but drop into the 60's tomorrow. I might put on my boots in the chilly morning but regret it when the sun is beating down on me at 2:00 in the afternoon.
Changes in life's seasons can be the same. As I'm getting ready to move back to the US, I find myself waking up some mornings focused on the difficult parts of life here, wishing I could move back sooner. But many mornings I wake up and marvel at the beauty of this country and the joy the children bring me and wonder how I'll be able to bear leaving them in less than two months.
It's a challenge to balance staying in the moment here while still preparing to leave. I can't put my boots on too soon and mentally check out before my time is up. But I can't leave my flip-flops on all the time and pretend I'm not leaving and just continue with life as usual. There's a tension in the changing of seasons that you just have to lean into and be uncomfortable. Sometimes I'll have to have my flip-flops on because I'm teaching these children until the end of the school term. They need me to stay focused so their education doesn't suffer. And sometimes I'll need to switch into my boots as I'm saying my goodbyes and turning over responsibilities to others who'll take over when I'm gone. It's exhausting to have to keep changing footwear. But that's what happens when the seasons change.
I'm surely not getting it right all the time. I spend time planning for things I'll need to do in November and December in the US, and get behind on grading papers. I'll spend a whole day working on the library, then realize there was something else I should have started a week ago that needs to be done before I leave. I'm thankful to be surrounded by people who have grace for me in the moments when I'm putting on the wrong footwear.
If you're in transition and feel like it's always the wrong temperature for what you've got on, know that you're not crazy, and you're not alone. The tension is normal, and we just have to go through it, not try to avoid it. It's only a season, and soon we'll be able to put on our boots every day without having to check the weather forecast first.
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
