Once, a father brought his son to Jesus to be healed. The son would go into convulsions and foam at the mouth, sometimes in dangerous places like around fire or a well, and had for most of his life. Jesus' disciples were unable to heal him, so the father brought him directly to Jesus, begging him to help. Jesus told him that all things are possible for those who believe.
I love the father's response to this: "I believe! Help my unbelief!" (Mark 9)
It seems like a contradictory statement, but oh, how often I have felt like that father.
I believe God provides, so I tithe even in months when money is tight, but I still sometimes worry about making ends meet. (Help my unbelief.)
I believe God has work for me to do in Kenya, so I'm leaving the life I've built here in Virginia to follow him there, but I still sometimes wonder if I'm doing the right thing. (Help my unbelief.)
I believe God loves me so much more than I can comprehend, but I still sometimes wonder if the way he directs my path is what's really best for me. (Help my unbelief.)
I believe God loves my friends and family so much more than I could ever love them, but I sometimes wonder if they'll still feel loved when I'm not around as often to show my love for them. (Help my unbelief.)
I believe all of these things, but I don't always feel them. I do not believe as strongly as I wish I did. But feelings are fleeting and can change based on what I had for dinner or what side of the bed I got out of in the morning, and God does not place too much weight on our feelings. John tells us that "God is greater than our feelings," which is a great comfort to those of us whose feelings sometimes contradict our beliefs.
God is good, whether I feel like he is or not. God provides, whether I feel like he is or not. God loves me, whether I feel like he does or not. God loves my friends and family more perfectly than I ever could, whether I feel like he does or not.
I believe these things, dear Jesus. Help my unbelief.
